


loving can hurt

by orphan_account



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: M/M, it’s literally a word dump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 18:45:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12613012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: the wall is his path and robb is his weakness





	loving can hurt

**Author's Note:**

> this is short but idk was feeling some love for my fav bros

They’re naked and quiet and Robb’s breaths come out heavily and Jon wonders if he is making the right decision.

The wall, he thinks blearily, will be cold. Yet no different than Winterfell, Jon tells himself. At the wall, no one will care for him and he will be free, just as any other man there. But at the wall, there will be no Robb.

He turns his head slightly, unable to stop himself from reaching forward and cupping Robb's jaw, thumb stroking absently against the strong curve of his cheekbone. His skin is flushed and pink, perhaps from the cold or perhaps from excess body heat, Jon can’t be sure. They make eye contact and Robb’s eyes, frosty and blue even in the approaching darkness, bore into his own.

“Don’t leave,” he says, as if it’s that simple and easy, as if he doesn’t know how much his word affect Jon.

Jon knows he doesn’t have to; he could stay here purely for Robb’s sake and watch over him when Ned Stark leaves. But when Robb becomes Lord of Winterfell he highly doubts that Lady Catelyn would let him near Robb at all. Jon knows she despises him for simply existing so the chances of her letting Jon advise Robb are slim. Here, under the watchful, sharp eye of Robb’s mother and the harrowing guilt of not following his own path, Jon would surely crumble.

And yet, for Robb, his beloved, he knows he would do it in a heartbeat.

And all of that seems too much to explain to Robb who watches Jon with eyes that harbour heartbreak and increasing confusion so he sighs and shakes his head slightly and replies, “I have to.”

Robb goes silent and for several long minutes, stays silent. Jon wishes he could glance inside Robb’s mind and figure out his thoughts. The way he’s silent and still, jaw clenched and eyes closed, Jon’s almost afraid of Robb’s thoughts.

“I love you,” Robb says finally and Jon knows; he knows how much Robb loves him and undoubtedly, he loves Robb just as much and perhaps more. Much more.

“I know,” he finds himself replying, at a loss for explanation for the second time in this loose version of a conversation.

Robb looks at him, mouth pressed into a straight line, unruly curls falling into his eyes and when he speaks his voice falters, “I cannot unlove you.”

And somehow, that hurts Jon more than the heartbreak in Robb’s eyes and the disappointment set into the laugh lines at the corners of his mouth. Somehow, those words weave deep into Jon’s chest and push against his heart and he can feel cracks forming on the surface of it.

Silence befalls Robb’s bedchamber again and Jon knows no matter what he says, he can’t possibly make Robb feel better. The wall will create a distance between them, not only physical but in terms of emotion.

How can Jon hope to be privy to Robb’s laugh, his wit and his affection if miles of mountains, ice and forests divide them?

So Jon exhales slowly and smiles, something crooked and sad and bare and says, “you can try.”


End file.
